About Us

 

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ello friends. The red and gold color scheme of feministsatire is a defiant nod to Jer 4.30 in which God rails against the feminists, or goddess worshipers, who dress in crimson (red) garments and drape themselves in gold chains. feministsatire is dressed in these resplendent colors to affiliate itself with the ancient women of Judah who, in rejecting God’s misogyny, flaunted their defiance in their fashions.

First thing you should know about feministsatire is that we are feminists, which should be obvious, but in this age of inverted meaning we want to be clear: feminism has saved us from the self-loathing that beat us up with our own fists, fists that threw power punches for our wrists that the patriarchy, for having clutched so tightly, directed at us in slam jabs to accomplish our self-injury. We call this type of self-injury internalized sexism.

Second thing you should know about feministsatire is that we are godless progressives, this as opposed to being godly fascists. We have made it our métier to know the character known as God through a thorough study of the Hebrew Bible, which Christians call the Old Testament as if, like God’s creation that he didn’t get right the first time and subsequently destroyed but for the inhabitants in the ark, the New Testament is testament to the better version of himself. But according to God he doesn’t change (Mal 3.8), therefore are we to believe he is no longer the brute as he was portrayed in his inerrant book—the first one?

Third thing and final thing you should know about feministsatire is that we are funny. While feministsatire realizes that to many people a funny woman is an oxymoron, it’s actually a known fact that humor is a sign of intelligence and as we goddess sisters had IQ tests that indicated we are in the higher percentile, it follows that we must be funny.

It’s our editor’s head that is photoshopped onto the earth goddess sculpture, and it will be her voice you will hear on Soundcloud because she runs the show, crone that she is—in the feminist sense of the word.

We are new bloggers, and although we have been trying on hats to fit and become us, we have decided our most fitting headdress is that which we know best: the Hebrew Bible. All the news is the same news anyhow: the fascists, who say unbelievably stupid things, are winning, and the liberals are protesting and mocking them. So we will let the journalists and bloggers do what they do, and we will focus on what we do, which is interpreting the Hebrew Bible for its satire because it is relevant to today as never before in our lifetime. We have spent many, many years crafting our manuscript, “The Dark Book: Feminist Satire in the Hebrew Bible,” which discusses the satire of the J Source up to Moses’ death, therefore we know quite a bit about which we speak. Unfortunately for you we will not, as yet—if ever, publish our manuscript on this website because that is the purpose of a publisher, which we hope to gain by acquiring a following, which is where you come in. Consider it your civic duty to support the cause of freedom by dispelling the myth that the Hebrew Bible glorifies the God the Republicans/fascists worship. Please recommend us to your friends and post our articles on your FB pages at the least.